the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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