Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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