Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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