Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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