it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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