ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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