I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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