I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize