He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
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Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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