i wish my penis had a tongue
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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