I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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