When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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