I will die if light touches me.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
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How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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