Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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