she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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