Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
COCAINE IS GR8
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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