Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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