Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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