my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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