If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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