don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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