We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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