ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize