if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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