So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
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Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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