We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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