so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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