Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize