i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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