Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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