Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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