Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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