I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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