I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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