Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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  (403): you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion. http://tfl.nu/ldji
  Replies (16) Good night (6618) Bad night (548)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (656) Bad night (3653) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz

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  (716): a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz http://tfl.nu/ffgi
  Replies (39) Good night (7684) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick

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  (508): I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick http://tfl.nu/wbrv
  Replies (38) Good night (5235) Bad night (1710) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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  (540): Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof. http://tfl.nu/2421
  Replies (20) Good night (7641) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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  (215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro http://tfl.nu/bhdm
  Replies (19) Good night (14848) Bad night (1660) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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  (203): Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied.. http://tfl.nu/zapu
  Replies (6) Good night (3704) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.

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  (678): I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you. http://tfl.nu/ocnt
  Replies (1) Good night (1900) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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  (603): You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time. http://tfl.nu/k6f1
  Replies (22) Good night (4360) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong

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  (203): i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong http://tfl.nu/c7ef
  Replies (7) Good night (3502) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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  (704): It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals. http://tfl.nu/tnox
  Replies (4) Good night (1959) Bad night (557)
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  (916): View more from California

  My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.

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  (916): My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/c849
  Replies (16) Good night (2501) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair

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  (262): I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair http://tfl.nu/3k67
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.

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  (907): Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman. http://tfl.nu/89v9
  Replies (14) Good night (2108) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is our new insurance provider?

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  (978): FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning. (978): Who is our new insurance provider? http://tfl.nu/a2lj
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (165)

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