She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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