he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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