nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize