Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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