Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
honey bunches of taint.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Boobs speak an international language.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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