She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize