guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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