Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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