If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize