she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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