She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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