what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize