We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your cock deserves a montage
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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