i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize