I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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